Bugs and Poop

I have a couple things to blog about. One is pretty easy to believe because everyone knows someone it happened to. The other is just plain weird. And both are true. Feel free to laugh, as it's one of my goals.

MyTony and I had a few errands (shopping) to do on Saturday. As we were walking into the mall, I got slapped. On the cheek. By a huge ass bug. It had to have been at least the size of a golfball. Maybe a baseball. It hit me so hard my earring fell off. Not a clip on. I lost the back to it. And my sunglasses fell off. And it hurt like a son-of-a-monkey. I had to make MyTony check to see if I was bleeding or bruised. I wasn't. But it felt like I should have been. Sentence fragments rock. Just so you know.

I was having a nice mother-daughter moment with the smooshy baby this afternoon. She was sitting on my lap all cute like. I heard her poop. Not a big thing since she's a baby and that's what they do. And this girl is good at it. Long and loud and gross. I waited a few minutes to make sure she was done. I laid her on the changing pad (on the coffee table right in front of me so I don't have to get up am lazy) when I felt something wet on my arm. Poop. On me. Also on her dress. MyTony got a new outfit for her. I looked down and poop. On my tank top (boob area). Felt cold on my thigh. Looked down and poop. On the bottom of my tank top going through it and my pants to my thigh. Gross. Not as gross as if it were someone else's kid, but still. I stripped down in the livingroom, finished changing her and took a shower.

Being a mom is so cool. And nasty. Fun stuff.