I have moved

I finally went and made a wordpress blog. So go there.

Say cheese!


So Smooshy.


A bonus bath day

**Baby poop alert.**

Holy Crap. Literally. I kinda thought I had this whole diapering thing down after the almost 3 months of constant diapering. I guess I was wrong. Who knew it could defy gravity like that? NASA has got to start studying this stuff.

It sounded like a normal baby poop. I waited a little bit to make sure she was finished. Then I laid her on the changing mat. All normal so far. Then I noticed something on her onesie near her belly button. I unsnapped and OMG. It had all come up the front. All up out of the diaper and somehow down her leg. There was a lot and it was gross.

After staring for a little bit wondering exactly where to start, I grabbed a wipe. I figured I'd get the biggest mess on first. One swipe and that wipe was out of commission. So I grabbed another and another and another. I put them in the diaper once they were used. Then Eliana's hand got all in the mess. So I wiped that off before she stuck it in her mouth (if she had, I would have thrown up right there) and moved the diaper. I kinda moved it around her head, but a wipe full of nasty poop fell out and now she had poop in her hair. Of course. By this time I knew I was in over my head. I needed an extra set of hands. I'm kinda thinking Amalah had the right idea for a superpower. I wiped as much as I could (no where near all of it) and started looking around for a diaper disposal option. There was no way I could wrap it up all nice and neat and get it in the diaper pail. I needed a plastic bag. Those were in the kitchen. I had to run to get one, screaming "Don't roll over! Don't roll over!" the entire way. She obliged.

I get back and dispose of the nastiness. I knew she needed a bath. There is no wipe in the world that was gonna be able to get poop out of her hair. I picked her up facing out (I had thoroughly cleaned the poop off the back part, so it didn't get on me) and we headed to the kitchen (where the baby tub lives). I had to position the tub over the sink, under the faucet, making sure it wouldn't fall in the other side. No easy feat when you're doing it one-handed. I managed and was pretty proud of myself. I filled it, checked the temperature and plopped her in. I figured the worst was over. We did the normal washing stuff and I got all the nastiness off of her. When I went to lean her forward to wash her back, she decided she didn't want to. So I took my hand off the front of her. She changed her mind about the leaning, so she plowed herself in the side of the tub. Then the crying started. I moved her back and she started crying. So I'm trying to get the poop out of her hair while she's screaming at me and I'm trying to soothe her and AAAHHHH! Ugh. We managed. I had to get a towel. When she gets her bath at night, Tony brings the towel and I pick up the wet wiggly baby and hand her to him. It's our thing. This time I had to figure out how to hold the towel, get her out and wrap her up by myself. For the record, yes, I had to leave her, but I didn't even leave the room, there was barely any water in the tub and I watched her the whole 3 seconds it took to get the towel. I managed to lean back letting gravity hold the towel against me while I picked her up and didn't drop her and got all wet in the process but we were done. I dried her off (she's still screaming cuz she's cold), put on a clean diaper and dry clothes and we were done.

Right then Tony walked in the door. I wanted to kill him for his lucky timing. Not fair. And remembering all that to write it out has made me very, very tired.

Mommy-hood is gross.


I am so not wearing the tights

Since Tony's in the Navy, I always thought it would be great to be able to teleport. I figured whenever he was deployed, I could pop into whatever port he was at or even just pop into his rack at night (although that would be a thing since have you seen the size of a rack? I mean, c'mon.). Granted this was pre-mommyhood, so it wouldn't be as easy now. It'd still rock though.

I wouldn't have to fear "I hate my car seat days". (These are my biggest annoyances since I can't let her cry and if you're in the middle of rush hour traffic and the car seat time limit expires badbadbadbadbad. Because she has this cry that she knows makes me want to cut my own heart out and theres nothing I can do about it. I would lovelovelove to avoid those.)

And I could teleport to Guam and eat at King's. That would kick ass. I could get all sorts of culture (food) from every place I miss. Like Krystals. And waffle house. And Red Robin. Am hungry now.

I mentioned here that I always feel like I miss out on family stuff. If I could teleport, I wouldn't have to miss anything. Thursday night dinners at Mom's? No problem. Step-mom bugging me to visit again? (Ok, not as much fun but you get it) Fine. It's faster and cheaper than flying. I could visit all the places I've wanted to see with out 15 hour plane flights with a baby and impatient husband (he seriously yelled at an old man and almost pushed him out of the way to get off a plane once...I think he may be slightly claustrophobic). I could visit old friends and stay in touch easier. Oh! And vengence on mean xbf! Key his car and teleport the hell outta there. That would be awesome. Am petty like that.

I know they say "it's not about the destination, it's about the journey" (or something like that), but I think "they" are people who haven't traveled for 10 days in a tiny car with their dad, step-mom and brother; camping out every night. I've already done the journeying. Not my thing. Just get me there and I'll be happy.

There's unselfish uses of teleportation too. Like using less gas. And ummm...other noble things I can't think of right this very moment. I'm sure there's tons.

I'm mostly in it for the selfish stuff. I'd totally go pick you up some Krystal's though. And maybe I could wear a cape.

**Courtesy of this week's writing challenge from the cafemom group.


I didn't forget about you

Obviously I didn't sneak away to the bedroom to blog. In fact, I only popped on a couple of times to *try* to catch up on reading the many blogs on my google reader. It didn't really happen. When I finally got to it yesterday I had 218 posts (yes, some was youtube stuff and celebrity gossip stuff but still). And I needed a day to recover from the visit. Was most tired needed many naps. Even Eliana slept a lot.

I missed de-lurk day. I would have loved to leave the security of my google reader to ooh and ahh over pretty blog layouts far superior to my own and maybe comment my butt off. But I missed it. I may just make Tuesday make-up de-lurk day. Maybe. (I make no promises since the baby can be demanding and yelly sometimes.)

So visit was nice. My mom is awesome and Kelly was great. She barely let me hold the baby the whole time. But if I asked, she always handed her over. Other than a few snide remarks (commenting that maybe I keep the house too cold for the baby and that "I would give you a taste of mashed potatoes but you mom won't let me" blah blah blah) everything was great. Tony and I even got to get out for a few hours (away from the baby and despite what my step-mother insinuates, it does not make me a bad mother I'd appreciate you to shut up and butt out thank you much!). After I heard that she was happy and smiling and not crying, I was able to relax and enjoy myself. And all we talked about was the baby and then went shopping to find a toy for her we are lame.

I was sad and happy when they left. Sad because since I live here and they live there, I always feel left out of the family things. I miss them. It was nice being around people who helped create the bathroom fungus and was there when I stood naked at my back door while my house burned down around me (another time, I promise). Happy because I missed my normal, everyday life. Also, I need to rebuild my mommy confidence. My mother raised 4 girls. She and I have different parenting styles, and that's ok. But some things she would say made me second-guess myself. Kelly has a degree in Early Childhood Education and is so good with kids and babies (and crappy with adults, but that's not the point). She would scoff at me if I didn't know how to do something (like hold my pinky finger in Eliana's mouth for her to suck)(what do I care...that's why God invented pacifiers). So yeah, good and bad. Still have to build the mommy-confidence, but I'm sure it'll come back.

I'm so glad to be able to blog again. I'm supposed to be folding laundry with Tony right now, but I ditched him for you. I missed you and don't want you to forget about me.

I'll have more stuff tomorrow. I have to tell you about the birds and the peeing. And pictures.