Because baby poop is not enough

I went to the bathroom the other day and when I flushed it, it sounded funny. But of course I barely had time to pee in the first place, so there was no way I had time to actually check the toilet to make sure nothing was wrong with it. By the time Tony got home I had completely forgotten the whole thing.

Today I go in there to NOT pee. I noticed when I flushed that it didn't really work and since Tony was home I went out to tell him, This was about the same time that Eliana decided to scream her little lungs off and the binky fell on the floor, so I had to get a clean one and you get my point. So I forgot about the toilet. Again.

A little later (as in 20 minutes ago) Tony come up to me and says, "You know you could flush the toilet." I informed him that it was stopped up and I meant to tell him ealier and just shut up and fix it already. So in we go. After lifting the lid, Tony informs me that he's not fixing it eww gross nasty the plunger will get gross and not fixing it. "Ok, what exactly are we supposed to do? You HAVE to fix the toilet cannot go without toilet." Tony the replies with, "When hell freezes over". What a handy guy I have.

So I grab the plunger and plunge for a good long time. Want to make sure I got it all. It is gross and nasty and ewww. I then flush the toilet and OH SHIT!

Me: TONY TONY TONY OHMYGOD IT'S COMING UP WHATDOIDO?????

Tony: TURN THE WATER OFF!!!

Me: WHAT WATER? WHERE? OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!

Tony: THE WATER!!!! QUICK GET THE RUGS UP!!! TURN THE WATER OFF!!!!

(I should mention here that Tony is out in the hall holding the baby up for protection. Little chicken.)

So I get the water turned off and thankfully, it didn't overflow. It tried to though. Right to the very top. So it goes down. I plunge for 5 minutes, flush with fingers crossed, say prayer and all is flowing again. Hooray. I am awesome. Tony sucks ass.

The end.

Dreams

I had a dream the other night that I was the commander of a Navy fleet. There was a submarine that we were trying to get to our area so we could get these bombs or missiles off and use them. So we were trying to keep it from being sunk (Tony says subs are supposed to sink and duh, but I meant sunk to the bottom of the ocean and not coming back up sunk). We got the sub to where it needed to be and I made a destroyer go pick up the bombs or whatever they were. The end.

When I woke up Tony told me he had a weird dream. He said he was lactating. And breastfeeding. I asked him if he had big boobs too. He said he didn't and he just did it with his normal man nipples.

I wonder if we intercepted each other's dreams? Or maybe it was like "A Day in the Life of...". Either way totally weird. And awesome since I can say "My husband dreamt he was lactating." which is possibly the funniest sentence ever. Go ahead. Say it.

Ahh to be 19 again...

Today is my birthday. I am 27. I went out to lunch with a friend and told the waiters/ess that I was 19. I'm sure they believed me.

I'd like to say that today is special and filled with presents and well-wishes and perhaps a party, but it's not. MyTony's in VA. I did get a balloon from the lunch friend. That's pretty much it. I'm ok though. It's Tuesday. Who has a party on a Tuesday?

I have big, important news. We've gone wireless!! Eliana's stupid, ugly, cockroach-looking cord FINALLY fell off last night. Of course MyTony missed it, but I put it in a zip-lock bag for him to see. No, I am not saving it. That's gross. And if you saved your kid's cord, then you're gross too. Cuz eww. MyTony will come home and look at it and then we can throw it away.

And bath time! I'm saving the first bath for when MyTony gets home. I don't think he should miss it and someone's gotta take pictures. I figure she lived 5 weeks without a bath, another couple of days won't hurt her. And then you all can have cute-nekkid baby pictures. But until then: