Because baby poop is not enough

I went to the bathroom the other day and when I flushed it, it sounded funny. But of course I barely had time to pee in the first place, so there was no way I had time to actually check the toilet to make sure nothing was wrong with it. By the time Tony got home I had completely forgotten the whole thing.

Today I go in there to NOT pee. I noticed when I flushed that it didn't really work and since Tony was home I went out to tell him, This was about the same time that Eliana decided to scream her little lungs off and the binky fell on the floor, so I had to get a clean one and you get my point. So I forgot about the toilet. Again.

A little later (as in 20 minutes ago) Tony come up to me and says, "You know you could flush the toilet." I informed him that it was stopped up and I meant to tell him ealier and just shut up and fix it already. So in we go. After lifting the lid, Tony informs me that he's not fixing it eww gross nasty the plunger will get gross and not fixing it. "Ok, what exactly are we supposed to do? You HAVE to fix the toilet cannot go without toilet." Tony the replies with, "When hell freezes over". What a handy guy I have.

So I grab the plunger and plunge for a good long time. Want to make sure I got it all. It is gross and nasty and ewww. I then flush the toilet and OH SHIT!

Me: TONY TONY TONY OHMYGOD IT'S COMING UP WHATDOIDO?????

Tony: TURN THE WATER OFF!!!

Me: WHAT WATER? WHERE? OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!

Tony: THE WATER!!!! QUICK GET THE RUGS UP!!! TURN THE WATER OFF!!!!

(I should mention here that Tony is out in the hall holding the baby up for protection. Little chicken.)

So I get the water turned off and thankfully, it didn't overflow. It tried to though. Right to the very top. So it goes down. I plunge for 5 minutes, flush with fingers crossed, say prayer and all is flowing again. Hooray. I am awesome. Tony sucks ass.

The end.

You know you're tired when...

Tony: You know I could always get another Master's the next time I'm on shore duty through TA (basically: blah blah blah blah and also blah)

Me: Why?

Tony: I dunno

Me: You should just get a PhD.
Then you could be a doctor.
You could be Doctor Tony!
Then people could call you 'Doc'!
And you could come home from work and I could say "What's up Doc?"!
And then I could give you a carrot!

*crazy giggle starts*

Tony: I like carrots. *long pause* *blank stares* What were we talking about?

Me: I may possibly blog this.

Nothing Better

I gave Eliana a bath. Tony dried, lotioned, diapered, and clothed her. Then I fed her while Tony read her a story. Now I'm sitting here listening to the monitor while Tony hums her to sleep. Life doesn't get any better than this. And now I think instead of playing with the internet, I'm going to snuggle with my family. Tomorrow I'll write more.

Dreams

I had a dream the other night that I was the commander of a Navy fleet. There was a submarine that we were trying to get to our area so we could get these bombs or missiles off and use them. So we were trying to keep it from being sunk (Tony says subs are supposed to sink and duh, but I meant sunk to the bottom of the ocean and not coming back up sunk). We got the sub to where it needed to be and I made a destroyer go pick up the bombs or whatever they were. The end.

When I woke up Tony told me he had a weird dream. He said he was lactating. And breastfeeding. I asked him if he had big boobs too. He said he didn't and he just did it with his normal man nipples.

I wonder if we intercepted each other's dreams? Or maybe it was like "A Day in the Life of...". Either way totally weird. And awesome since I can say "My husband dreamt he was lactating." which is possibly the funniest sentence ever. Go ahead. Say it.

Virginia is so LUCKY

For those of you that don't know, MyTony's in the Navy. He has been for 6 years now (ok, almost 7 if you count that almost year of enlisted time in the beginning, but that was pre-me, so I don't count it.) (well, I count it since it makes the pay an itty-ish bit better). Anyway, we're on shore duty right now. It's our first one. It is awesome. No deployments, no missing the baby's birth and all the other day-to-day stuff. Love it.

But he had to go to a conference in Norfolk, VA. He left this morning. He'll be back on Thursday. Am sad. This is the first time I will be alone with the baby for more than just a normal work day (which is not even 8 hours cuz shore duty kicks ass). I'm really not worried about the 4 days he'll be gone. It's the 3 nights that terrify me. Eliana, like most babies, is fussy at night. It saves my sanity to hand her off to MyTony for a few minutes to compose myself. Even if I don't do it, I like having the option. My option is on a plane right now. Dammit.

Also, I don't sleep so good when he's not here. It was never a big thing before since I could stay up all night and sleep all day, but now there is baby. We don't have a strict schedule or anything, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work out or even be a good idea to change it all up this time. I'll have to suffer through. Hopefully I'll be so tired from whatever it is I do that I'll be able to fall asleep at night like normal people. Please please.

Now for scrunchy baby-ness. I ordered some Babylegs. Got them in the mail today. I seriously wanted to wake Eliana up just to put them on her, but I didn't. (I value the quiet so much more than I did pre-parenthood.) I even changed her diaper and fed her before putting them on her. It's all about priorities. Here ya go. Have a cute-fix you baby addicts.

Everyday?

Alright Coty..here's a blog. And holy crap I'm supposed to come up with something half-way interesting every day?? That's nuts.

So it's Sunday. The biggest thing about Sunday that's different from every other day is breakfast. I make an actual breakfast on Sundays. One that requires cooking. On the stove. I make a decent breakfast and I make it even better when Eliana sleeps long enough to let me finish. And she did. And it was yummy. Makes Tony remember why he stays married to me. I keep him fed. Most of the time. Ok, only on Sundays.

Eliana has HATED her swing since the first day we put her in it. I figured it over stimulated her since like a brilliant mommy I turned on the lights, music, and made it go as fast as possible that first day. Am smart. I tried again a week later and she still hated it. I tried again a few days ago and she still hated it. Ok, that last time I waited until she was hungry and had a dirty diaper to try cuz I figured that would be the best time since she was awake and did I mention I am SO SMART??? Anyway, the point: We tried again today. She was fed and clean and awake and she didn't hate it!! I turned the speed on low and only the lights on at first. She wasn't all smily and giggly (3 and a half weeks old, hello?), but whatever. She didn't cry. That's all that's required. It was a good day. Also, for those of you wondering, she slept 6 hours straight last night. My baby kicks ass.